Sten Guns in Hackbridge

The festive spirit? Don't get me fucking started. After a month of half-arsed and contrived piss ups by Christmas Eve I was flagging, so what did I do? Went to the Euston Flyer at lunchtime when the office closed for beer and whiskey and then headed south for a pre-arranged meet at the Hope in the occupied territories for some beard on beard action.

You Can Say No

When the news first broke about the fact we'd have to replay our FA Trophy tie with our 3rd Qual conquerors Concord, rather than getting the free pass we assumed their administrative faux pas would grant us, I personally wasn't all that fussed. Mainly as the FA announced the rematch was set for Wednesday the 16th December which is precisely when I was due to be soaking up some pre-Crimbo sun and wolfing down Paella in Valencia with the missus. So the Trophy could get fucked quite frankly.

Baby Oil, Bubble Wrap & Bin Bags

Three minutes. Three fuckin' minutes. That is all it took to take the maximum points away from us. Not for the first time this season have we let an away side back into the match by switching off in defence. Still a point is a point is a point as they say. And with many teams around us losing, the damage done was slightly limited.

Don't Touch My Sausage

So we're off back to Maidenhead Hayes & Yeading a lot earlier than anyone had expected. In fact, it was only five weeks ago that we saw them once again win down the lane by the solitary goal from their solitary chance. I was hoping that one day I would be able to see them play in this new ground of theirs, but I have more faith that the development team might actually have a match soon!

No Supervision = No Regulation

As many of you are aware, we in The Firm can be quite a handful where drink is concerned. Most of the time it is ok because our fun is always regulated to an extent by the whip. And that whip is usually kept in the hands of someone sensible. Problems begin when it is not in the hands of someone sensible, like me. Because for this trip it was down to yours truly! Need I have to remind you of trips to Concord last year and Chelmsford to name but a few?

The Eternal Pessimistic Optimist

The Surrey Senior Cup. Let's just take a moment out of our busy lives to think about that. There is actually no tournament bigger in the whole county you know. But then as you might also be aware, I possibly have a tiny, little soft spot for it. That is why, once again, it is down to me to regale you with the tales of our second round tie against the former FA Amateur Cup winners, Walton & Hersham.

Chicken Cup-A-Soup

You know what, I think we might have offended someone at the FA. I know I know, hard to believe a bunch of upstanding chaps such as ourselves upsetting anyone, let alone the national arbeiters of our beloved game. But there has to be something iffy going on when you consider the crappy draws the sods keep giving ups in their competitions.

Dukey Don't Camp

Football, it's a bit of a passionate, tribal sport innit? I mean, ok it's a lot softer and cuddly and safer than it used to be, but there's something to be said for losing your shit occasionally. It can be quite cathartic. And I say that as someone who may have had a shout or two in the past. No, really. Hard to believe I know.

Juan's 37th Birthday Spectacular

So here we are again, another trip back to Stortford. It seems like only a month we were here in the old FA Cup. Or course everyone knows that it was a whole seven weeks ago. And since then we had won a few, drawn a few and lost a few. But also today we were to celebrate a birthday of one of our own, that of none other than old Juanita himself. The question was, will he bother turning up? You all know that 37 is a very special year in your life.

Undercover, with a Carrier Bag full of Stripe

Bollocks, I knew I should have volunteered to do the Oxford game - a feisty Monday night encounter against a top side where we showed our mettle and should have really come away with all the points. A clear sign that we were pushing on - or maybe not?