The Promised Land

As a lifelong Fulham fan the 2020-21 season will very easy to brush under the carpet. To be fair when I last got to Craven Cottage in the flesh they were in the Championship and by the time I get back there next season (fingers crossed) that’s where I’ll still find them. Although in the interim they did get promoted with a famous Play Off victory over Brentford it’s perfectly possible and indeed sensible to pretend nothing else has happened.

Fortune Favours the Bald

As the champagne was being sprayed all round the joint and our extraordinary group of players went through their party moves to the sounds of their enormous travelling boom box Taz lent across to me and said “So, d'you think you’ve got enough material for the blog then...”

Football. I mean, bloody hell Isn’t it?

Woking Hard for It....

Yeah yeah, I know. "But Taz, you said writing blogs about watching games on TV was shit! And yet here you are with another effort about watching a game on TV!!". To be honest, I still stand by that, but the fact that the U's were 4 games from a possible promotion to the Football League and it was basically passing by without any sort of comment from us barring one sudden entry out of the blue for Hartlepool in 2 weeks just didn't sit right with me. And besides, I've never claimed to not be a hypocrite and more importantly, as I'm in charge round here, bollocks to it. Now, how about you un-knot those panties, shut yer faces and put the kettle on. We've got work to do.

Lee's Knees

Hello! We're Gandermonium and you may remember us from such shit non-league blogs as St Albans away, Halifax away and that big game against Arsenal. And we're back! Sort of. Maybe. Actually, we're not that sure if we're honest. But we are at least allowed outside to drink pints now, so we thought we'd take the opportunity to remind you we're still alive and with most of us jabbed up now, we're even more immortal and no more sensible than before. So we thought we'd knock out some pointless rubbish to celebrate this momentous occasion. You're welcome.

Don't Lick The Ball

Wow, I really can't believe that it's been over nine months since I've had to put the twentieth twenty-first century equivalent of pen to paper and write a little missive on the adventures of the Gandermonium Firm and a lil' known team from the depths of what is now called 'Elite Football'. Whatever that means, Surrey Elite League or something probably.

Been Gone Too Long

"Football without Fans is nothing". We've all heard it, read it and probably even said it at some point. Certainly in relation to the modern era of the game over the last few years as it's often (over?) used to try and illustrate that the sport would be really quite dull, if not a little pointless without us obsessed weirdos in attendance, shouting at a large area of grass containing 22 blokes running about after a bag of wind. And to be honest, the powers that be have largely yawned, gone "Yeah yeah lads, whatever" at this and just got on with counting the pound notes. Mainly as they basically knew we could never really prove it. But then came Covidbollocks. And only being able to watch games solely on TV\laptops etc as the players shouts echo around almost ghostly, empty stadiums finally produced if not 100% definitive proof that football is indeed nothing without its fans, it at least showed that it is at best really really shit.

We'll Meet Again...

Well, that didn't quite go as planned. This was meant to be one last bit of filler to effectively sign us off for what's looking more & more like a complete bust of a season, for us fans at least, after the National League decided they were going to start the season anyway and went cap in hand to the government for a hand out to pay for it all. But even then, the mob in blazers up in Brum had other ideas and put the kybosh on what we had planned as well. 

180 Days Later

Hello? Hello, is there anybody out there? Can anyone hear us? Is this thing even on? Ah screw it, like anyone reads this old pony anyway.

Yes, hello dear reader. Long time no see\read\whatever! How's tricks? Welcome back to your favourite bang average non-league bit of the internet! It has now almost been exactly six months since Covid-19 poked it's virusy oar in and royally fucked the puppy. Ending all life as we knew it and a fair bit else into the bargain as well. No going in to work, no football, no pubs. No going anywhere in fact. Just not doing anything at all. Only what seemed like one endless string of fucking Zoom calls with Joe Wicks punctuated with watching pretty much the entire contents of Netflix and just staring blankly out the window as the world metaphorically stopped turning.