You Can't Beat a Bit of Bully

The magical mystery Sutton bus continues it's unbeaten journey one match at a time. What was once thought as a very tricky week in the world of the U's, has now been proven to be just run of the mill type stuff. And for the second time this week, it's Gandermonium's very own foreign correspondent to give you some of the details of what happened on a warm Saturday afternoon. That's me by the way.

Rumble Our Blanks

Oh Sutton United. You most definitely know how to put the cat amongst the pigeons don't ya? Just when we you think that the team have already sacked off the rest of the season, up pops up Craig Eastmond with a 95th minute headed winner at the back post to once again give ignite false dreams of the ye olde fabled lands of the top 7.

Red Light Spells Danger

Bloody Boreham Wood. What is it about those fellas from Hertfordshire that causes grown, supposedly semi-professional footballers to revert to a type of teenage mentality compromising about as much use as an Iranian gin salesman. Plus it's also not the first time that Sutton have put up about as much fight as a French Army Division. Oh no...

The Colin Luckett Effect

So is that it then? Bugger it! All over before the fat lady has even warmed up with a gargle of mouthwash. I suppose if she'd choked on it, then that could've been us. Because today was the day we choked, big time. Not for the first time in our history have we been only 90 minutes from a trip to Wembley and fallen at the final hurdle. And that still hurts, so let's at least start with a spot of good old enthusiasm and before the match...

Memory Lane

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The Footballing Fagin’s

“In this world, one thing counts. In the bank, large amounts.
I’m afraid these don’t grow on trees, You’ve gotta pick a pocket or two.”

Now Fagin is not a particularly festive figure I will grant you but as my thoughts turned to the Boxing Day away trip to Boredom Wood I could not get this tune out of my head. Why? Because this is a club that despite being awash with more Gooner cash than they can jam in their pockets still insists on acting tighter than Arkwright out of Open All Hours. And without the dry northern humour.

Isn’t it good, no its BOREham Wood!

The title for this blog is inspired by The Beatles’ “Norwegian Wood” for those who are of an outstanding musical intellect like me!  So let’s begin by getting the past events out of the way. It was only a week ago that we had hosted Arsenal, yes that’s Arsenal Football Club in the Fifth Round of the FA Cup.

Not Cheap, Not Cheerful

When a small outfit like ours finds itself in the spotlight, it's easy to get carried away with things and start living it large like them there big Premier League charlies. And why not, you're in the papers all the time and on the telly every 5 minutes. So you can very easily get all Dom Perignon and Suites at the Ritz when the old can of Tennents and a single room overlooking the bins at Croydon Premier Inn are more our sort of style.

Eye of the Storm

After the madness that was last weekend, we now enter the eye of this FA Cup storm and the chance to enjoy a period of relative calmness to catch out breath & take stock of what the hell has happened over the last couple of weeks before we once more have to batten down the hatches and find ourselves buffeted by forces we don't fully understand nor can fully control. That or it could be like that bit in the movie 'The Day after Tomorrow' where everyone freezes to death instantly. Metaphorically speaking of course....

You Can Keep Ya Bloody Thameslink

When is a bad day at the office made much worse? When does a simple little away trip to the arse end of London, drive you to the point of near exhaustion? If a midweek trip to Boredom Wood is bad enough, imagine having to spend over five hours trying to escape the place & get home after another poor away defeat.

Cliff's Summer Holiday

When Blues legend Robert Johnson sold his soul to the Devil at the crossroads he could have saved himself all that hassle of dealing with Old Nick and just headed straight to Borehamwood – a place so relentlessly soulless it makes Hackbridge feel like Rio when the Carnival is in town.

Rain Rain Go Away...

Have you ever been kicked in the bollocks? Have you ever fallen off your bike and smashed your crown jewels on the handle bars as you went over? Have you ever had a football fired at your knackers at 90 mph, and it’s smashed you so hard you fall to the ground in agony and wish you were dead? Oh you're lucky enough not have ever experienced this pain before or are of the lady persuasion? Well if you want to know how this feels then read on.

Cars and Pints and Pains

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder"

A wise man once told me,that. I guess like anything these days, you can fall in and out of love with it. Like foota, it can give you highs and it can give you lows. Of late I think it's been more lows with all these draws, have we hit our peak for the season? Are all these rescheduled games starting to take their toll? Only time will tell of course. It's not all bad though. We are still up there, still sitting in the Play Off places, so I've got no problem with that. It's just a real shame that if we pushed a little harder in the games following the destruction of Bromley a few weeks back, we could maybe have contested the title. But facing facts, I think a Play Off position is about right for where we are...

Welcome to the Thameslink Classico

What a debut match to be selected for/lumped with for a first Gandermonium match report. Borehamwood away on a misty Monday night. Nothing less than the El Thameslink Classico itself! 

It's an easy hop up from St Pancras where I work to the suburban Goonerville of Wood and Elstree. Out of the station and things looked very familiar.  Borehamwood high st is like an extended and elongated North Cheam which seems to go on for ever.  Must have passed at least a dozen fast food joints before coming across the palatial Maccy D's and hanging a left down towards the floodlights.

We've got Wood! Well, Borehamwood

Well then ladies, gents and readers of Gandermonium.  Where do I begin with this one? Firstly, are you sitting comfortably? So, following on from our eventful day of both drinking and football down in Dover on Saturday. I checked my bank balance this morning, and well I hat e to say it, but it's true what Dukey says....you do a least a ton on away days with this lot. Well for me it was over a ton, £147.13 to be precise, for the love of drinking and following the team we all love. And you can't put a price on love right?