2015/2016 Season Review - Part 3

So, in Part 2 we were knocked out of the Trophy and then let back in, the boys really started picking up some points in the league and then front runners tantalisingly started dropping some. Which has made things rather exciting for the last part of our season review for a fucking change! Do we get to Wembley? Can we hunt down Ebbsfleet for the title or are we doomed to the misery of the Play Offs again?

Clicky clicky, findy outy!

2015/2016 Season Review - Part 2

In Part 1 after a slow-ish start and a mildly disappointing FA Cup exit, it's all eyes on the League now. Sadly, that's not gone quite as well as we'd hoped so far and the leading teams are already seemingly miles ahead of us. Plus we've already shed our captain. So it's time to pull up our socks and get on with winning some points! Well, once we've got the FA Trophy and dreams of Wembley out of the way that is...

Here's Part 2 with all the details.

2015/2016 Season Review - Part 1

With the season done & dusted and celebratory hangovers to be dealt with, here's the first part of our Annual end of season filler material Season Review. Like most seasons, we don't start particularly quickly. But unlike last season, we do at least improve a bit over the course of the 9 months. Quite a lot in fact. So much so, it all ends happily every after. And then some.

But that's all to come way down the line in Parts 2 & 3. You've got to plough through all the boring stuff before we get to the exciting bit. Think of it like having nothing but Broccoli for starter and main course, with a lovely bit of treacle sponge & custard for dessert.

Time Gentleman Please

It's six o'clock on a Saturday morning. My dreams of a jelly wrestling competition in a paddling pool involving Jamie Lee Curtis & Sigourney Weaver are rudely interfered with by the Soviet nation anthem, "Soyuz nerushimy respublik svobodnykh" bellowing out at this ungodly hour for a weekend morning from my phone. I would've put the writing in what Mr X calls "Acrylic" for that bit, but couldn't be fuckin' bothered!

I Saw The Sign

With the big showdown at GGL last week decided in favour of the good guys, we knew that one more win would all but give us the title going into the last weekend as our goal difference is far better than Gravesend Ebbsfleet's. But there was still that elephant in the room. Albeit, a rather quiet one. The points deduction from the St Albans game. We still had no news on how that would go.

Viva Las Vegas!

It's been a funny old season. Back in early November, we'd just lost to bloody HandY at home (again, one nil, only shot on goal) and found ourselves sitting 12th in the table, some 14 points behind the leaders Ebbsfleet. At that point, it looked like a serious effort would be needed just to make the play-off spots. We weren't playing badly, just lacking consistency. Title challengers? Er, no. Since then? Well, we've improved a bit to be honest.

Just relax & take it easy

Thank you very much Dukey for the kind hand-over from the previous blog!  Determining on tonight’s result this could very well be the last time I write for Gandermonium.  You readers may remember me writing in the Weston-super-Mare entry that Natalie labelled me a “bop” because each time I have written for this lot, doing the games against Bath City and Weston-super-Mare, we drew both of them.

Jolly Boys' Outing to Margate

Wow, you have to go a long long way back to find a time when Gravesend Ebbsfleet weren't top of the league (middle of September apparently). But for forty fives minutes on Saturday, it was the mighty Sutton that ascended that very summit to bask briefly in all its glory. Of course, win against Stortford on Monday night and we're top again, but for a little longer. While on Saturday it seemed that it didn't matter.

Hello, Specsavers?

So, here we are. Super Duper Amazeo-massive clash number 1 of the Conference South title run in. Maidstone away. El Plastico pt2 if you will. And they don't really come a lot bigger than this at our level. 2nd v 3rd. We're unbeaten in 20. They've got one of the best home records in the league. 2200+ average crowds. Fuckin' Ada, if that sort of thing doesn't give you a full on football chubby, then nowt will. Unless you're dead of course. Or maybe a woman. Ok, so maybe I've not thought this one through properly. Sue me.

When the Going Gets Tough

So, as we head into the final month of the season, we are faced with the real possibility of having a shot at the title. We wouldn't have considered the prospect a mere couple of months ago. But with Gravesend  Ebbsfleet slipping up more times than a drunk man on ice, they have left the door open not just for us but for Maidstone also.

Toilet Duck

As a god-fearing atheist Easter is probably my favourite of the religious holidays currently on offer although I still don’t understand why it is held on totally random dates or some of the highly strange licensing/shop opening hours that it throws up. As well as signalling the potential start of some warmer weather and longer days Easter also tends to be pivotal in terms of what matters most – the footballing calendar.

Taking Care of Business

Here we are. Time for our longest trip of the season down to Cornwall. Usually this is also one of the quietest for the gang with us normally all tucked up in bed by 9pm with a good book and a horlicks. And if you believe that load of old flannel, you'll believe absolutely anything! If by some chance you did swallow that pack of lies, feel free to email us your bank details. You know, for er...safe keeping.

Cheerios & Lube

Well, I think Saturday was rather successful as awaydays go! A nice day out in Gosport, we got thoroughly beered up, found some new pubs, we got to use a ferry to get to a game, no trains were missed & no one died. Top stuff. Oh and we won the game 2-0 as well. Which helps a bit.

Frothy Coffee

So, after the huge disappointment of our Surrey Senior Cup exit (not that I'm bitter about it in any way) it was time to turn our attention back to the possibility of trying to catch Gravesend Ebbsfleet in the league. With ten games to go, the points different is currently 12pts. The simple requirement for us is to win every game. Doddle.

Tears of Disappointment

Why thank you for the hand over Keith "Brandy makes me violent to animals" Robinson. And welcome to another blog about the trophy no one they all want to win, the Surrey Senior Cup. So, who were to stand in our way for a record 29th showpiece? None other than that two time final bogey team, those bloody Southern League Division One Central lot, Godalming Town.

Quick as a “pig in a tail”

First of all you readers might think what on earth does the title mean? And I will answer by simply saying “I don’t know”, it’s some comment Natalie came up with and thought it sounded humorous – so there you have it. You will have to ask her!!

Spanky Neighbour

Ah St Albans. Usually one of the groovy Gandermonium gang's favourite awaydays. A nice town, an easy single train journey up, plenty of pubs in which to refresh ourselves and a decent record there on the football front. What could possibly go wrong? Well, if you've been following us for a while, you might remember our trip up there early last season ended somewhat inconveniently for 1 or 2 members of the mob. So the answer to the question no one asked was: Quite a lot.

Blessed are the Cheesemakers

Well I didn't see that result coming. A win maybe, but a damn near thrashing? After struggling to beat lower opposition the week before, I felt that Saturday's game might be a little harder than what we experienced. I mean, just by looking at the form guide, you saw two teams in the upper echelons that could no doubt have cancelled each other out in a drab 0-0 draw.

Knapping Time

So, it takes us to the back end of February to finally see a new ground this season. I mean, it may be a poky little place in the arse end of nowhere (aka Woking), but it's somewhere new for us to go to. Oh but wait, two days before we are due to descend on Knaphill the game is reversed on account of the home team apparently being unable to hold the game on this new fancy surface called 'grass' they use. Well that's just fuckin' typical!

Philosophical Lemmings

Now, I'd pre-prepared a little intro here which lead me into taking the piss out of Steve King and his departure from Whitehawk. Sadly, events at Hemel have surpassed this slightly so I've had to change it a touch to this, but we'll get to all that in a little bit. Am I still going to take the piss out of Mr King? You bet your arse I am.