Title Amended For Legal Reasons

So here we are. The end of another season. Another 9 month journey through the hurly burly, all action world of the Conference South draws to a close. And what a journey it's been. Confusing, dismaying, appalling & disappointing in equal measure and just the once or twice briefly lulling us into thinking it actually wasn't actually a waking nightmare and would improve. So a bit like commuting on Thameslink really.

Snuff, Muff & Love Puff

So here we are, the final away game of the season. Lets be honest here for a moment and say that 2014/15 won't be ever considered a vintage year. In fact I would say that this is possibly the worst season we've experienced under Our Lord Dos. Saying that there were several moments that will stay with us at Gandermonium. But I'll leave Taz to recap them in his season review later.

And Here's One I Made Earlier

Ah Easter, Some would have you believe that it is all about the death & resurrection of a carpenter's boy from Bethlehem. Others think that it is a free four day weekend to lounge about in their pants watching Jeremy Kyle. I just think it is the annoyance of trying to get two games into three/four days that never quite go to plan.

Cliff's Summer Holiday

When Blues legend Robert Johnson sold his soul to the Devil at the crossroads he could have saved himself all that hassle of dealing with Old Nick and just headed straight to Borehamwood – a place so relentlessly soulless it makes Hackbridge feel like Rio when the Carnival is in town.

Zebra's Leg

Easter. A time the lord Jesus raised from the dead, a big bunny wanders around spread joy to all the little children with his not at all creepy chocolate egg delivery concept and we get to spend a long weekend watching football, as well as writing a load of old toss about it. Oh and drinking. Ain't life magical?

I Would Make Anthea Turner's Tracy Island!

Positivity, that's the word I was after. Its now been over seven hours since Gomis plopped the ball into the Bromley goal. One solitary point for the whole of March to show for a team running out of ideas and low on confidence. I could go on with various stats like: One win in two months, five goals in nine matches or five points out of a possible twenty seven but I'm not going to as I've been saying for weeks that Eastbourne away was going to be a positive. I'll just not mention the football, much!

Total Eclipse of the Fart

Sometimes ladies & gents, you need to get a handle on real life. A sense of perspective if you will. Take Friday's eclipse for example. As expected, southern Britain ensured we'd miss out on this once in a lifetime spectacle with skies so grey & impenetrable they'd make Beijing City Council consider suing for breach of copyright.

Said the Bishop to the Sailor

I went to the doctor the other day and he said he was worried about how much alcohol I was consuming. He asked me how many units of booze I had consumed this week and after I told him '21', he told me 28 was the maximum and that I'm fine after all.

Guess it was a good idea to go and see him on a Monday then.

Is it tomorrow or just the end of time?

Hello punters, me again. Today's nonsense was supposed to be brought to you by our resident king of Ska Punk, Totts. Unfortunately due to unforseen circumstances, mainly me being a dickhead and forgetting to tell him he was on duty, you're stuck with my bright & breezy manner for the second game running.

And given the way things panned out, I'm glad I forgot. He'd have bloody killed me for lumbering him with another load of depressing old shit.

Is It May Yet?

Isn't it funny how when the fixtures first come out that you look for the good aways, the shite midweeks and then pick out games that you imagine will play a huge part in that ultimately successful season you're definitely just about to have. You know, those big top of the table 6 pointers.

Tonight's was meant to be one of the latter for us. Hindsight eh? What a twat.