You Sir are a Failed Fox Murderer

The longest distance to travel to a game this season and everyone is in the Duke's love mobile. What could possibly go wrong?

Well lets start from the beginning, so somehow by the grace of God I'm managed to get the day off for this trip so I could still keep my hopes up for another perfect season in attendance once again. The first snitch of the day was the fact that I didn't look at the directions because I been to Weston a few times now. The problem with that was they were all in daylight and not in darkness around cone city...

A Whole Year of Talking Bollocks!

Fuck Really? And to the tune of Pet Shop Boys 1992 hit "Go West" One year, we're having a fit. One year, we're still talking shit. One year, and you'll find us near. One year, on the fuckin' beer!

Well who would've thought, one year ago to the day that Gandermonium was resurrected in its current form and begun once more enlightening the Sutton United supporter base with our drunken antics and we're still at it!

Coggins was one thing, but Rock is summat else!

Well here we are again and another cup game to witness as we begin our adventures in the FA Trophy. Our opponents were due to be Havant & Waterlooville who were destroyed at Westleigh Park back at the end of September.

Today was going to be so different from that fateful trip to the south coast. As always I was up at the crack of dawn looking back on another shocking week at work were I've been accused of trying to defraud the company with dodgy sick notes and the like. I won't go into too much detail as I tend to get a little carried away with my hate for the manager that I work under.

No Tresspassing!

I sense a pattern forming here.

Last day of last season and I get lumbered with doing the report away to Bath as our regulars Dukey & Juan were all 'worn out' from a 9 game run in April. Tonight, we're again away to Bath and with Dukey driving (and thus being utterly sober) and Juan currently wounded by cupids arrow and not travelling at all, it's down to dear old Taz to step once more into the breach and selflessly come to the rescue of these useless twats his comrades.

The Kiddy magical mystery tour

The whole Gandermonium staff were of course all present & correct in Kiddy for the cup tie yesterday, although not all of us were on the chuffer and stumbling into the pub at opening time. Newest member Totts chose to take the supporters coach up as it was cheap and allows normal saturday morning family routines to be followed. With what turned out to be a slightly fraught journey up, we half jokingly suggested Totts tell his story of his own FA Cup 1st round day. To our surprise, we got an email this arvo with all the gory details! So, here's the tale of our man on the bus....

The Unlucky 13

It’s Sunday morning, and I’ve just woken up! The Mrs wakes up next to me, and tells me that I stink like death. Well I tell her, it must have been that last can of Strongbow that I consumed on the Tube back from Euston. Well where do I Start with this one? I guess I’d better rewind, and go back into the depths of the last 24 hrs.

Juan-Juan. And where's Juan?

This is the 0919 service from Epsom. Calling at Cheam, Sutton..........

Duke's mind begins to wander away, not taking any notice of his surroundings, trying to think how after all these years he can still consume masses of alcohol with the other members of the Firm. And with Juan once again not getting permission from she who must be obeyed, it has to fall on the shoulders of the Duke who once again must spout some sort of drivel to keep you lot entertained so let get cracking and begin.....

Red Card Roy

Right, let me tell you about me, Roy McDonough and Sutton United. Stick with this as you wouldn't have got this review, or Totts addition to the Gandermonium roster of star writers, if it hadn't been for being forced to haul the memory back fifteen years to try and back up an anecdote I was trying to roll out on the Amber Planet website.

Justice

I'm sorry what was that? I didn't quite get it? Our support is fuckin' what? Well I have one word for y'all.....JUSTICE!!!!!

Well here we have it, the replay of our FA Cup match against 'emel 'empstead which on Saturday ended in a 3-3 draw. I suppose really that it will be fair for me to comment on that game because for the neutral it was a crackin' game with goals, controversy and entertainment to last them at least a week.

Euston, Euston, Euston...

So Friday evening, and the text message from the Editor In Chief was received. Get yourself to Euston for the meet, and tickets will be sorted from there!

An early wake up call for myself, as I was staying at the Guvnors Gaff down in Thames Ditton. Now, the misses had mentioned that she had indeed quite fancied watching a game of football, and seeing what we all get up to come Saturdays. So was that a wise decision, for her to come along, and witness the unadulterated idiocy. She seemed at first extremely game to come along, so I was indeed warned by others that this was probably not a good idea. Well, Saturday morning, she decided to drop out, a little sigh of relief.