Vomit in the Trough

When you're on a run that's as success challenged as we are currently, you simply need to find some positives from somewhere, anywhere. A win against, for example, the one side who might actually consider you their bogey team, or perhaps a cup tie against a bang average team from a division lower than you that you can rough up and knock in some goals against. Oh wait, we tried that last one, didn't turn out so well. So, bogey team it is I guess.

Stats Don't Lie

Bloody Football Association Challenge Cup shit. It can be a right curse as well as a saviour to many a teams fortunes. For Sutton on Saturday, it was a performance that never quite matched the result and will no doubt forever be remembered as the match that "had that keeper score in injury-time". Yeah, you fuck right off! At least they didn't mention that it was by an ex-player who doesn't have the best relationship with his former club.

Another Viral Youtube Hit

When things aren't going quite the way you'd hope on the pitch, it seems to serve as a magnet for all sorts of other misfortune and daft incidents to rear their ugly heads and plague you, the poor unsuspecting punter's already fragile mental state. And we at Gander Green Lane are no different. Take last week's train debacle for example, which essentially meant we went on holiday by mistake. Still, surely that's enough ridiculousness for one season? Right? RIGHT? Oh who am I kidding...

Euston, we have a Problem

So, Euston train station, we did have a problem didn't we. A rather big problem when you think about it. As blog titles go, it's a bit obvious, but otherwise it might have been something random like "It's a Skip!". But more on that one later. It was Sod's Law that it was another North West trip that was cut short early. And like the previous episode, we instead ended right up on the piss and watching another two teams battle it out in a division we care little for and know even less about. But, as the Gandermonium rules state: "No match, no blog", so shall we kick this one off then?

Kipper Tie

My oh my, what about this weather we're having eh? Winter's definitely here you know, even I've almost followed Totts lead and switched on the old central heating. Eh? What's that? You think I'm just making small talk to avoid mentioning the current footballing situation in the People's Republic? Well check out the brains on the audience there. Well done you. Yes, I am indeed. And with good fucking reason.

Do Anything You Wanna Do

Now that autumn is rolling in, the leaves are falling from the trees and me and Mrs Totts are engaged in our annual “Battle of the Boiler” as to when it’s appropriate to turn the heating on it seems only right that we should be entertaining a solid, meat, spuds, sticky pudding and woolly jumpers side like Stockport.

Physical Abuse With Your Mouth

It was so quiet. So silent in fact that you could hear a gnat fart from ten paces. There is no one else around as I walk to the station in the total darkness that is par for the course for these early morning jaunts this time of year. Luckily the skies are clear. Fast forward over eighteen hours later and the rain is coming down as I walk home from the station. past the restaurants and bars that are kicking out their final patrons, oblivious to the day that I've just been through.

Digger Dagger Digger!

Five minutes from half-time, that's all that was left. Five lousy minutes. With the match poised precariously at nil-nil, it was only five minutes to go before the boys could head down the tunnel on the back of another half decent performance. And yet once again, a couple of questionable decisions later and it's like if Ronnie Corbett & Johnny Rotten had gotten together. "Well it's goodnight from me, and it's fuck off from him".

You On Denton Watch?

Hola Senors y Senoritas, bringing a bit of Spanish to you as I missed the last two games whilst being in Mallorca. But this blogger can safely state Mallorca is now well informed about Sutton United and even had some people say I shall will be looking out for our results. One gentleman, named Mike from Cornwall, said he predicts Sutton will play Wolves in the FA Cup Quarter Final in the year 2027, so I have this note saved into my phone. I doubt I'll be wagers on it however.

Wrexham Lager

We like Wrexham. Ok, it's not nearby, costs a fair bit to get to and we've yet to experience anything but mild disappointment at best when it comes to the football, but it has one thing going for it. The beer's really really cheap. Like stupidly cheap. As in "Fuck me I've not paid that little for a pint since my early 20's!" cheap. Which if you're familiar with our work has both its good and its bad points.