No Massa McCarthy

Sutton United versus Hartlepool United, down Gander Green Lane, in a league match. Na, doesn't sound right that. But then again, in a few months time, we could be in a real surreal place, if things go down a particular path. But let's not get too carried away with ourselves here, It's not the Surrey Senior Cup after all.

Love Sex Intelligence

A couple of weeks back, one of the Gandermonium crew found himself the proud owner of a new DVD he'd successfully bid on and won from a popular online auction webbsite. Fifteen quid he'd paid for this piece of physical media, which contained the whole 90 minutes of a Sutton United versus Dover game,  one he didn't already possess in his ever expanding collection. So you can imagine his disappointment when he received it to find it was for the game at Crabble in Dos' first season, when we got bummed in the gob 6-0 on the day they won the Ryman League title.

A Two Hander

When the call came in from the gaffer “Do you fancy doing a two hander with Duke in Blackpool?” – stop sniggering at the back – it wasn’t really a question as such, more an editorial instruction that no level of good or half arsed excuses could simply palm away.

Barry's Dogging Circle, Dirty!

Well, we can gladly say that the title race is finally over. For the rest of season we'll be looking over our shoulders now at the chasing pack instead of seeing what Macclesfield are doing. Shame really, as it was only a few weeks back where we were right on their tails and dreaming of the most unlikeliest of stories since Buster Douglas knocked out that Tyson fella.

The Bromley Contingent

Bromley.  Now, here’s a thing.  There are people around suburban south London who will try and have you believe that Bromley is, in some mad and contrived way, a "cool" place. I know, complete and utter nonsense but I’m just scratching around for a few pars of blog intro, so stick with me kids.

Abandonment Issues

Back in November 2012, we brought Gandermonium back from the dead. Dukey and Juan (remember him?) had pestered me sufficiently that I went and gave them a new toy to play with. Of course, having gone to all that effort, the planned first game back 'in action' was called off about an hour after we'd arrived and hit the pub for the mandatory pre-match refreshments. The venue? Maidenhead. Must be something about the place.

Getting it off your Chester

"It's a funny ol' game!" as Jimmy Greaves used to say, most commonly on his popular Saturday afternoon sports show 'Saint and Greavsie' with Ian St John back in the late 80's\early 90's. Well, we reckon that if the popular combo were still broadcasting today, he'd probably be updating it for the 21st century audience and suffixing it with something along the lines of "....but that National League shit's just bare whackledackle Saint!". Well, either that or just mumble something along the lines of "Fucks sake, I should have retired years ago".

Yankee Candles

Maidstone, are they the fabled Kentish men or Men of Kent? Does it matter? What am I on about? Have I been drinking? Well yes in fact, but that's not the point, although we could've done with at least one on Saturday. With myself being born in a former part of the county, a la South-East London, my Aunt always reminds me that I am actually a Kentish Man. Well I think she said I was Kentish, can't think what else she could've meant.

Moor Moor Moor!

Anyone else been doing one of those fantasy football things this year? I don't normally bother myself as they tend to be the sort of thing your average OPTA stats obsessed, heat map, pub bore PL armchair type does. But a few of the lads in my office were partaking and ever keen to appear to be social outside of a licensed premises type environment, I too picked a side and left it to fail miserably. To my surprise however, it's done quite well, even topping the league a few times but never lasting more than a week at the summit in true Sutton United style.

Rock the Cock

Greetings to you, our loyal Gandermonium readers for this latest blog against Surrey rivals Woking. Let us firstly track back to the previous week though and a cancelled trip to Halifax.  It seems that white stuff of the cold variety struck a lot of the UK and caused the postponement of many football matches across the country although the “Lords” of the Premier League remain unaffected.