Non-League Stinks of Piss...

Orient. Now then, here's a thing. One of the worst Saturday afternoons of my life was spent on a trip out to the old Brisbane Road sometime around 1980 to see them play Brentford.

"What the fuck were you doing heading all the way to Leyton to watch some poxy lower-league fixture with Brentford for?", I hear you exclaim incredulously. And the truthful answer in that is I have not got a fucking clue.

A Highland Fling - Football Abroad

As you may know, we occasionally like to take ourselves out of our footballing comfort zone and parachute ourselves into more exotic surroundings in which to witness the beautiful game. We usually prefer somewhere where we don't speak the lingo, the beer is cheap, the food is strange and the money looks like we printed it at home. So, of course, this time round, we're off up to Scotland!

No, you fuck off.

Uncle Keith

We all remember the first ever football match we attended including who it was to see, who was the opposition, the date and who you went with – we’ve all been there.  Today I decided it was my nine month old niece, Emily’s first game to be at Sutton United.  My own personal first game was with my Dad, Uncle Kevin and cousin George. Chelsea vs Sheffield Wednesday on 28 December 1996 ending in a 2-2 draw.

Normal For Norfolk

I've no idea what's supposed to be so funny about Norwich but it seems to generate all kinds of unexplained hilarity in certain comedy quarters.  If they want to pedestrianise their City Centre that's their fucking business and it happens to be one of those rare subjects on which I have no opinion to offer whatsoever.

0239 265 4321. Hello Aqua!

We're now half way through the pre-season calendar and let's face it, I doubt very much it will be that memorable. Three games down, we've seen three goals, all in the last ten minutes. Shots have been at a premium and any vague entertainment is soon forgotten. So would a trip to Portsmouth be any different I wonder?

Dart Bored

So, to friendly number three. And so far, it could be said the pre-season campaign has not gone entirely well. Certainly from a spectating perspective anyway. Two 1-0 defeats, with shots on goal from either side being at a premium and a steadily mounting injury list to keep Bobby & Cat busy. Still, we're not the sort of people to let such hardships deflect us from the duty at hand, that of blathering on about shit pointless fixtures in July. We're made of sterner stuff. And you're very welcome.

The Walter Pigeon Club

Can you believe that this was going to be the tenth time that we have entertained the boys from Hemel? Oh yes my children, it was just a mere three and a half years ago that we arrived in Hertfordshire for an FA Cup tie that was to be the first time that our two teams had actually met. And now it seems like that we can't get away from them, even after getting promoted.

Blue Skies

So, it's (unusually) sunny out, the humid UK summer air echoes to the crack of leather on willow and some lasses grunting their way through a tough point at Wimbledon. Which can only mean one thing, that it's time to put down your tennis bats and your crickety sticks and get your moulded's out. We're back. It's time for the football season to start!

Gandermonium Film Review - 'Goal!'

Can you believe I'm actually doing another film review for this bleedin' blog? Well I say 'doing' as most of this was actually written back in the old Conf South days. Now some might say that this is a sign that the boredom of life without Sutton is starting to kick in, but I'll say to those people, that in fact, I was doing really important things that can only be seen as trying to improve society as we know it. Like attempting to find out how the classic Japanese game show, "Hand Job Karaoke", benefits us all. However, that one could take a serious amount of research...

2016/2017 Season Review - Part 3

So. as the season enters its final third we're finally able to relax and enjoy the run in with Conference safety assured. Like bollocks we can! We're in the last 16 of the FA Cup and have Arsenal at home, we still need points to be sure of National League football next season and Totts song is still doing the rounds! It's like a fucking madhouse round here. So, dive in dear reader and enjoy the drama and the chaos that was February to April in the last part of this Gandermonium Season Review...