Tears of Disappointment

Why thank you for the hand over Keith "Brandy makes me violent to animals" Robinson. And welcome to another blog about the trophy no one they all want to win, the Surrey Senior Cup. So, who were to stand in our way for a record 29th showpiece? None other than that two time final bogey team, those bloody Southern League Division One Central lot, Godalming Town.

Quick as a “pig in a tail”

First of all you readers might think what on earth does the title mean? And I will answer by simply saying “I don’t know”, it’s some comment Natalie came up with and thought it sounded humorous – so there you have it. You will have to ask her!!

Spanky Neighbour

Ah St Albans. Usually one of the groovy Gandermonium gang's favourite awaydays. A nice town, an easy single train journey up, plenty of pubs in which to refresh ourselves and a decent record there on the football front. What could possibly go wrong? Well, if you've been following us for a while, you might remember our trip up there early last season ended somewhat inconveniently for 1 or 2 members of the mob. So the answer to the question no one asked was: Quite a lot.

Blessed are the Cheesemakers

Well I didn't see that result coming. A win maybe, but a damn near thrashing? After struggling to beat lower opposition the week before, I felt that Saturday's game might be a little harder than what we experienced. I mean, just by looking at the form guide, you saw two teams in the upper echelons that could no doubt have cancelled each other out in a drab 0-0 draw.

Knapping Time

So, it takes us to the back end of February to finally see a new ground this season. I mean, it may be a poky little place in the arse end of nowhere (aka Woking), but it's somewhere new for us to go to. Oh but wait, two days before we are due to descend on Knaphill the game is reversed on account of the home team apparently being unable to hold the game on this new fancy surface called 'grass' they use. Well that's just fuckin' typical!

Philosophical Lemmings

Now, I'd pre-prepared a little intro here which lead me into taking the piss out of Steve King and his departure from Whitehawk. Sadly, events at Hemel have surpassed this slightly so I've had to change it a touch to this, but we'll get to all that in a little bit. Am I still going to take the piss out of Mr King? You bet your arse I am.

Lemon & Chocolate Crisps

Injury crisis, what injury Crisis? In the aftermath of Bognor, the casualty list was so long that even Dukey fancied his chaces of getting a run out against Bath. There was even talk of loan players and maybe even a new signing, but nope. Nothing doing. Instead we put out a pretty familiar line up against the South West folks and got a point. Although the fact we ended the game with a front two who's combined age is less than my own does at least point towards the squad being a touch stretched.

I came, I saw, I puked (x5)...

Greetings fellow readers of Gandermonium.  I would like to take this opportunity to thank the guys at Gandermonium for allowing me to provide a guest appearance on their blog – although guess this may be the last!  I always wanted to be a sports journalist of some calibre but ended up being a civil servant!  It’s fair to say I feel they have fully incorporated me into their group – cheers lads but I am sorry if this ends up being too corporate!

Don't Smash your Head against a Rock

Oh well, another dream down the swanny. Just when you start to thinking about a "Tuesday night in Torquay", the thought is sent crashing against the rocks of a condom & needle strewn South coast beach. But don't worry this won't be a sulk (much) like if we lose at Knaphill for example. Or when we lost in the final of the Surrey Senior Cup and I cried for an hour after the game.

A Couple of Sovereigns

They say you learn something new everyday. And it's total bollocks. In fact I am proud to say that I haven't really learnt anything since about 1978 and in the words of the late, great Lemmy "That's the way I like it baby, I don't want to live forever." But I may or not have learnt a couple of things on Saturday from the travelling Bognor fans but more of that later when I eventually get on to the matter in hand.