Philosophical Lemmings

Now, I'd pre-prepared a little intro here which lead me into taking the piss out of Steve King and his departure from Whitehawk. Sadly, events at Hemel have surpassed this slightly so I've had to change it a touch to this, but we'll get to all that in a little bit. Am I still going to take the piss out of Mr King? You bet your arse I am.

Lemon & Chocolate Crisps

Injury crisis, what injury Crisis? In the aftermath of Bognor, the casualty list was so long that even Dukey fancied his chaces of getting a run out against Bath. There was even talk of loan players and maybe even a new signing, but nope. Nothing doing. Instead we put out a pretty familiar line up against the South West folks and got a point. Although the fact we ended the game with a front two who's combined age is less than my own does at least point towards the squad being a touch stretched.

I came, I saw, I puked (x5)...

Greetings fellow readers of Gandermonium.  I would like to take this opportunity to thank the guys at Gandermonium for allowing me to provide a guest appearance on their blog – although guess this may be the last!  I always wanted to be a sports journalist of some calibre but ended up being a civil servant!  It’s fair to say I feel they have fully incorporated me into their group – cheers lads but I am sorry if this ends up being too corporate!

Don't Smash your Head against a Rock

Oh well, another dream down the swanny. Just when you start to thinking about a "Tuesday night in Torquay", the thought is sent crashing against the rocks of a condom & needle strewn South coast beach. But don't worry this won't be a sulk (much) like if we lose at Knaphill for example. Or when we lost in the final of the Surrey Senior Cup and I cried for an hour after the game.

A Couple of Sovereigns

They say you learn something new everyday. And it's total bollocks. In fact I am proud to say that I haven't really learnt anything since about 1978 and in the words of the late, great Lemmy "That's the way I like it baby, I don't want to live forever." But I may or not have learnt a couple of things on Saturday from the travelling Bognor fans but more of that later when I eventually get on to the matter in hand.

No Hablo Espanol! - Football Abroad

With Christmas fast approaching, most people would be concentrating on Presents, mince pies and what size turkey they need to feed the 5,000 on the big day. Me & the missus however aren't 'most people' and with a very trying year at work for me plus a hard 2nd year at Uni for her, we decided that rather than join the usual Xmas madness, we were going to sod off somewhere warm and instead keep minimum wage slaves in a job by doing all our shopping on Amazon when we got back.

A Bit of a Cocker

So tell me, what have Woodstock, Pulp & Brookside got in common? Well to be honest, and here at Gandermonium it could mean anything, it all started with the late Jarvis Joe Cocker (or was it the Spice Girls?) and ended up with Sutton United being mentioned in divorce papers. Yeah on second thoughts, don't bother trying to join the dots on that one, fuck knows how we managed.

400 up. Dundo's Gonna Get Ya!

It’s been a while since I’ve sat here on a Sunday morning and put together one these updates, and to be honest I was a little rusty. I'd lost the natural flow you need for this sort of thing. So I called up Dukey on Sunday morning for a bit of advice on how this stuff works again, and his best bit of advice was just do what you normally do Juan, write a load of bollocks as usual. Remember what it says on the blog, Sutton United, Beer and Bollox. Well thanks for your ever so helpful advice big man.

Curzon a Fuss

It's back. The FA Trophy returns to once more tantalise us with the rather ambitious dream of a day out at Wembley. And despite all our whinging this season (and past ones!) about samey old draws, the FA finally relented and gave us someone a bit different in Curzon Ashton. And I don't mean to be rude, but even hardy old stagers like us scratched our heads at that one and muttered "Never heard of 'em" before turning to Google for information.

Aden & Raiden

God you gotta love a cup tie. Well except when you lose of course. I mean, it's no good getting all excited for a game knowing that all it would take is a last minute kick in the old proverbials (Merstham away springs to mind) or to play with you strongest team available and still lose to a team several divisions below you (Merstham away still springs to mind).