Baby Oil, Bubble Wrap & Bin Bags

Three minutes. Three fuckin' minutes. That is all it took to take the maximum points away from us. Not for the first time this season have we let an away side back into the match by switching off in defence. Still a point is a point is a point as they say. And with many teams around us losing, the damage done was slightly limited.

Don't Touch My Sausage

So we're off back to Maidenhead Hayes & Yeading a lot earlier than anyone had expected. In fact, it was only five weeks ago that we saw them once again win down the lane by the solitary goal from their solitary chance. I was hoping that one day I would be able to see them play in this new ground of theirs, but I have more faith that the development team might actually have a match soon!

No Supervision = No Regulation

As many of you are aware, we in The Firm can be quite a handful where drink is concerned. Most of the time it is ok because our fun is always regulated to an extent by the whip. And that whip is usually kept in the hands of someone sensible. Problems begin when it is not in the hands of someone sensible, like me. Because for this trip it was down to yours truly! Need I have to remind you of trips to Concord last year and Chelmsford to name but a few?

The Eternal Pessimistic Optimist

The Surrey Senior Cup. Let's just take a moment out of our busy lives to think about that. There is actually no tournament bigger in the whole county you know. But then as you might also be aware, I possibly have a tiny, little soft spot for it. That is why, once again, it is down to me to regale you with the tales of our second round tie against the former FA Amateur Cup winners, Walton & Hersham.

Chicken Cup-A-Soup

You know what, I think we might have offended someone at the FA. I know I know, hard to believe a bunch of upstanding chaps such as ourselves upsetting anyone, let alone the national arbeiters of our beloved game. But there has to be something iffy going on when you consider the crappy draws the sods keep giving ups in their competitions.

Dukey Don't Camp

Football, it's a bit of a passionate, tribal sport innit? I mean, ok it's a lot softer and cuddly and safer than it used to be, but there's something to be said for losing your shit occasionally. It can be quite cathartic. And I say that as someone who may have had a shout or two in the past. No, really. Hard to believe I know.

Juan's 37th Birthday Spectacular

So here we are again, another trip back to Stortford. It seems like only a month we were here in the old FA Cup. Or course everyone knows that it was a whole seven weeks ago. And since then we had won a few, drawn a few and lost a few. But also today we were to celebrate a birthday of one of our own, that of none other than old Juanita himself. The question was, will he bother turning up? You all know that 37 is a very special year in your life.

Undercover, with a Carrier Bag full of Stripe

Bollocks, I knew I should have volunteered to do the Oxford game - a feisty Monday night encounter against a top side where we showed our mettle and should have really come away with all the points. A clear sign that we were pushing on - or maybe not?

Tu Madre es un Puta!

Yes ladies & gentlemen, boys & girls. The rumours are true. We actually have a home league game for what feels like the first time in jeffing ages. Ok, so the last time we were at home was really only 3 weeks ago against Hemel in the cup, but that was one of just 2 at GGL in our last 9 fixtures. And when you do awaydays like we do, it can be something of a test of not only your wallet, but your physical wellbeing too.

There is Popcorn in my Gravy

Langney Sports Eastbourne away must be one of those trips that, say if a militant, family friendly, football supporting, sitting down terrorist wanted to remove the historical traditional working class supporters like ourselves, he could do so quite easily with this fixture. Looking back at the previous blogs, since the resurrection, we can work out certain key events....