The Great Semi of '93

Occasionally, once every so often, when the planets are in alignment we here at Gandermonium are forced to scrub ourselves up, brush our hair, put on some clobber that isn't an Amber football shirt and jeans and go to do adult stuff. Which as you've probably guessed by now, isn't our specialist subject. We do not adult well. Adulting, we are not good at.

No Taste of The Honey Pot

Maidenhead, oh good old Maidenhead. For a simple away day it does have a reputation for getting slightly out of hand when the Gandermonium boys are in town. I was just hoping that this game would make a change from the debacle that was Mr Kaye on Monday night. Luckily for everyone, Juan was in the driving seat for that one because if it were me, then, well there might've been a bit more swearing involved!

Tales of the Golden Boot, a lookalike, a Manc & some Truro.

So there I was at Dartford, the game finishing at 2 a piece and I thought I’d join the boys for a quiet couple of pints, and maybe a gin or two. That kind of feeling "Well it’s the weekend, and I haven’t got work next week, so I’ll let my hair down. Have a few beers Juan, go enjoy yourself..." Well I was so wrong!

Dukey did mention in his last write up about the Juan disappearing trick Saturday night, so let me fill you in...

You Don't F*** Around in Thamesmead

So finally we get to our first away game of the season that falls no the traditional drinking day of Saturday. And where did the football gods decide to send us this season? Only to bleeding Kent and another poxy non-smoking ground with a town that is not really in our top ten of favourite destinations.

I Havant, Havant I?

I was beginning to dislike the 2015/16 season something rotten. As mentioned in the blog from Taz on Saturday, my relationship with technology is somewhat like that of Amish. In fact, considering that most of my electronic devices have gone the way of the Dodo it will come as no surprise that I nearly managed to break my latest new phone, whilst still in the shop. Having not actually bought it yet.

Derbi Della Synthetico

With another largely forgettable pre-season over (getting drunk in Winchester and Jersey aside!), it was finally time to get the proper stuff underway. And luckily for us, the Conference fag packet fixture computer gave us a nice attractive opening day match up with newly Promoted Maidstone. Who, like us, also have one of those new fangled Fred Gee pitchamaroo thingys. So naturally, the U's marketing team came up with a snappy tagline to help advertise the first game on 3G in England's 6th tier. *Drum Roll*

'The 3G Derby'? Oh...

Minority Report

So, the last of the PSFs. And it was back to me to cover it, seeing as Totts had been on duty during the week to do the Bobbins two bob 3G pitch. So I said to the EIC I’d cover the last game before the season gets under way, I’m now somewhat regretting that decision and idea.

Let there be light!

You know that pre-season is grinding its way to a welcome conclusion when your occasional columnist is lumped with doing the blog twice in a couple of weeks. Attempts by the editorial board to feed me some old horseshit about being “the Fred Gee pitch specialist” and “the right man for the job” were just a cover for the fact that not only couldn’t anyone else be arsed to write this report but some of them couldn’t even be arsed to attend the game at all.

Welcome to the Yawnfest

Ah, good old pre-season. No matter what you expect to get from it, the games always seem to be a bit of an anti-climax. With our little excursion to Jersey now a distant memory (But the physical reminder in my guts remains) of a week ago, we got to entertain a team that some consider more of an equal.

Croque Monsieur

Now, everyone knows pre-season games are crap. We all know neither side is really taking it that seriously and there's nothing at stake. So why would you bother? Usually, it's just boredom that draws you in. A few weeks without football and you'll watch any old pony. But, once in a while, someone dreams up a friendly that's not only worth going to, but also provides a weekend on the lash.