Wheretoisthat? - One from the archives

So, it's October and we're already back to rummaging around in the basement through all our old files looking for some filler to keep you our dear readers happy following a postponement. Marvellous. Still, it could be worse, you could have been me (horrible thought I know, but bear with me) today and found out the match was off just as your train to the south coast was pulling out of bloody Havant. And you've only got a really fucking expensive one way ticket in your pocket as you were getting a lift home.

Bread & Dripping Pan

What do we do with a drunken supporter? What do we do with a drunken supporter? What do we do with a drunken supporter? Especially when he has lost his shoes!

Yeah that's right someone nearly lost their shoes on the trip back home last night. But we will deal with that later because we have the magic that is the FA Cup to get through first.

There's a hole in my back, dear Liza, dear Liza,

Now tell me, is it wrong to dream of Bacon Noodles? Or is it wrong to stumble around Brighton at night with a skull face mask on? How about being photographed hanging outside an adult 'Boutique' emporium?
Well that was all last week, this week is all about Langney Sports Eastbourne Borough!

So where do we start then?

I'll have a Brighton on the rocks please Guv!

It’s that time once more. Yes I’m back after a slight absence from Gandermonium over the last couple of weeks to bring you this weekend’s FA Cup fixture away at Whitehawk. Well seeing as its Friday night, I’d best get words to paper prior to the game, as I think come Sunday my body and brain will be in two different places,. That’s a given seeing as we are heading south this Saturday, down to the sunny coast of Brighton. So before my body and brain crumble into pieces, let's get started.

Passovotchka

Look, we're going to persevere with this "Hey look at us, we can read! We're dead clever and fings!" thing, so you may as well just pipe down and get used to it. Who knows, you might even learn something! Although the thought of us providing anything of educational value other than new swearwords, where's best to drink in the likes of Weston-Super-Mare and what a shithole Borehamwood is scares even us.

The Petersfield Chip Shop Disaster

"In all my 73 years, I've never been refused entry into a pub!" These were the words uttered by Indiana Jones' father (aka Sean Connery's stunt double) late on Saturday evening. And what a day that turned out to be, so why don't we get started and begin were all our good tales usually kick off? And that is on a Friday night...

Double Vera and Tonic Please

"There'll be bluebirds over, The white cliffs of Dover"

And I always thought that the bluebird was not indigenous to our fair young island? But who am I to disagree with a singer that is now synonymous with a cigarette paper used for roll-ups, or is that a drink made from Juniper Berries I wonder? Fuck knows.

That which starts sweet, ends bitter & that which starts bitter, ends sweet

This update is sponsored by Paddy Power & Spencer Days accountant.

So this week in the world of Juan has been a rather ‘topsy turvy’ one to say the least. Let’s start by turning back the clocks to last Friday afternoon. Time approximately 16:30 HRS, location Board Room. What happened next, I can only describe as a complete an utter bullshit experience! In a nut shell, I was advised that due to some unforeseen (this is where the bullshit starts) circumstances, we are going to have to end your current contract.

Revolving Door - Player News.

Some of you may have read from the official website (following the Tonbridge game) that Moses has been released to find 1st team football, which I guess is fair enough. A player of his age and ability wouldn’t want to be sitting on the bench week in week out. So with the departure of Moses, we now bring in Charlie Clough-who in recent weeks put in for a transfer request to leave Dorchester Town. 

Who are Tud-Binge Angles?

"This geezer was special, I mean REAL special. He was thick as shit in a bottle, he even made two short planks look like a fuckin' computer."  What is he talking about? I hear you say, well I hope its you talking to me or otherwise not only am I talking to myself I've even began to answer as well.