I Would Make Anthea Turner's Tracy Island!

Positivity, that's the word I was after. Its now been over seven hours since Gomis plopped the ball into the Bromley goal. One solitary point for the whole of March to show for a team running out of ideas and low on confidence. I could go on with various stats like: One win in two months, five goals in nine matches or five points out of a possible twenty seven but I'm not going to as I've been saying for weeks that Eastbourne away was going to be a positive. I'll just not mention the football, much!

Total Eclipse of the Fart

Sometimes ladies & gents, you need to get a handle on real life. A sense of perspective if you will. Take Friday's eclipse for example. As expected, southern Britain ensured we'd miss out on this once in a lifetime spectacle with skies so grey & impenetrable they'd make Beijing City Council consider suing for breach of copyright.

Said the Bishop to the Sailor

I went to the doctor the other day and he said he was worried about how much alcohol I was consuming. He asked me how many units of booze I had consumed this week and after I told him '21', he told me 28 was the maximum and that I'm fine after all.

Guess it was a good idea to go and see him on a Monday then.

Is it tomorrow or just the end of time?

Hello punters, me again. Today's nonsense was supposed to be brought to you by our resident king of Ska Punk, Totts. Unfortunately due to unforseen circumstances, mainly me being a dickhead and forgetting to tell him he was on duty, you're stuck with my bright & breezy manner for the second game running.

And given the way things panned out, I'm glad I forgot. He'd have bloody killed me for lumbering him with another load of depressing old shit.

Is It May Yet?

Isn't it funny how when the fixtures first come out that you look for the good aways, the shite midweeks and then pick out games that you imagine will play a huge part in that ultimately successful season you're definitely just about to have. You know, those big top of the table 6 pointers.

Tonight's was meant to be one of the latter for us. Hindsight eh? What a twat.

What in God's Name is Floccinaucinihilipilification?

Me & Technology don't always see eye to eye. In fact I think that sometimes it has a laugh and pokes fun at me. Take this fackin' mobile doobry whatsit. Recently it decided to update its self and download a new piece of operating software. Within it, was Nokia's answer to Apple's 'Siri', called Cortana. And she sounds just like the bird off the Halo games.