Siam: There's more to it than just ladyboys!

He drinks a Whiskey drink,
He drinks a Vodka drink,
He drinks a Lager drink,
He drinks a Cider drink.

After only two days since our win against the Ding, we are once again back in action at the place where I, the Duke, nearly lost his phone a mere thirteen months back.

Parental advisory required: This post lacks alcohol....

Good evening religious readers of Gandermonium. For those hardcore readers, you will have no doubt noticed that our Editor in Chief gave you a fine write up of the thrashing of Carshalton some ten years ago. The thrashing even spawned a t-shirt! It’s not often that will happen in history I can tell you. So that now leaves me to cover this year’s Boxing Day write up, our home fixture against Hayes & Yeading, but before we get to that, we have some other news to cover.

It's a Massacre! - 10th Anniversary Special

Well, we trust you're all stuffed to the gills after a nice Christmas Day yesterday and are now sat resplendent in those socks and rubbish sweater you got instead of the PS4 you were secretly hoping you'd get. Well, whilst we can't help with state of the art gaming consoles, we do have a little something for you to aid with the digestion of that last mince pie.

Hopefully our game today at home to Hayes & Yeading was on and we've secured 3 points, but seeing as it's Christmas and we're big ol' softies really, here's a another bonus helping of Boxing Day action from the cold & dusty Gandermonium archives.

It's the one you've all been waiting for. The result so good it spawned a fucking t-shirt.

All in a Days Drinking

Well here we are a couple of days before the birth of Christ and we are due to head into the wilderness that is known as North Kent to play the failed experiment of MyFootballClub that is Gravesend & Northfleet Ebbsfleet.

The text had gone round from our illustrious Editor-in-Chief that the plan of action was for us to head into town on our travelcards as the atrocious weather that had beset us all week might effect our plans, so to save some dollar we would purchase tickets to Kent at St Pancreas.

Clear and Present Danger

The Resurrection of Juan. After a bit of a break from doing the write ups for various reasons on Gandermonium, for two reasons mainly. The shackles of love holding me down, and the lack of permission slips from she who must be obeyed!

That’s right I’m back for more...more pain, pleasure, football, and shit! So lets wind the clock back, and take a look at this week’s events. It’s been a bit of a shit house week for a member of the crew, Dukey!

Welcome to the Thameslink Classico

What a debut match to be selected for/lumped with for a first Gandermonium match report. Borehamwood away on a misty Monday night. Nothing less than the El Thameslink Classico itself! 

It's an easy hop up from St Pancras where I work to the suburban Goonerville of Wood and Elstree. Out of the station and things looked very familiar.  Borehamwood high st is like an extended and elongated North Cheam which seems to go on for ever.  Must have passed at least a dozen fast food joints before coming across the palatial Maccy D's and hanging a left down towards the floodlights.

Tony Daley's Gay?

Well, what a shit week that was eh? A rather lame exit from the County Cup, the loss of a well liked member of staff thanks to off the field events caused by utter weapons and then very recent ex-U Michael Boateng being nicked and subsequently charged as part of the match fixing enquiry launched a couple of weeks back. As Totts said on Twitter. "What next? Jenny the Giraffe nicked for possessing class A's?"

Add to this the release of James Folkes and Dean McDonald and the loaning of Jamie Taylor to Eastbourne late in the week and needless to say, there's proper sorry frowns all round.

When Hopes & Dreams become Nightmares

Ah, the Surrey Senior Cup, the hostess with the mostest, the bounty of the county, the one true prestigious trophy to have in your cabinet at the end of the season.

It is in this competition that I hold dear to my heart that tonight's game was going to played. For years now I've loved and looked after this cup waiting with baited breath to finally join level with Dulwich Hamlets on sixteen wins apiece. Ever since Duke was taken down to the "theatre of dreams" by Father Duke at the back end of the 92/93 season to see us win against our so called "friendly" rivals Carshalton have I seen us get closer and closer to Dulwich.

The Reserved Experience

Well, well, well, here we go again, here we go once more!

What, no game you say, no bloody game, what’s going on? How will us hardcore non league junkies get our football fix! In recent weeks as you are more than aware our F.A Cup Giant Killing came to an end at Kiddie. Still what a day out that was! Following the exit from the F.A Cup our minds turned to then, the F.A Trophy, and well those dreams were also shattered , going out of the Trophy to Havant at home. With both cup exits, and no home or away game listed for this Saturday, us mindless idiots at Gandermonium H.Q sat around scratching our heads and twiddling our thumbs. What is out there for us non- league diehard fans to do? With no Skrill south fixture on the cards, we picked our noses and scratched our arses, and shuffled our feet.