Double Header & Done

Aah, the old Pre Season Friendlies. The footballing equivalent of non-consequential foreplay where you get a bit hot and sweaty, go through the motions but never reach any sort of satisfactory climax.  Still, they are part of the calendar and it has fallen to me to slam them into the bin on behalf of the Gandermonium cartel before the real thing gets under way at the weekend.

Fair Trade Friendly

So, moving swiftly on from Saturday's nonsense and our third straight away PSF, we're finally back into the (very!) warm embrace of Gander Green Lane for the first time this summer and we're welcoming old friends Dulwich along for the occasion. In stark contrast to last weeks oppo Havant, who as Dukey revealed we've faced some 13 times alone since we resurrected this shite in 2013, the pink and blue hued mob from SE22 have yet to be graced with anything other than a cursory mention on here, as well as the occasional cheap jibe at their trendy, right on crowd via social media.

Battle of the Ex's

Well I can't say that I'm a fan of sober football. That's three pints or less before you ask. But sober football is really depressing, Especially when you factor in a 2-0 defeat at the hands of a team a  whole division below us. But at least we can still say that it's only pre-season and the real stuff hasn't quite started yet.

Garden of England

The times, they are a changing my friends. I mean, take the last few months for example, where there's been enough carry on to completely confuse and befuddle even the most clear minded of grown adults. First we lose our manager of 11 years, followed by most of our squad. Then the government try to bring in that 'porn pass' thing and then just as we think we might actually understand it all, they delay it at the last minute! Plus to top things off. England have become World Champions at Cricket. Yes, England. World Champions. At fucking cricket of all things. Barmy.

It's An Epilogue

They say that a week in football is a long time. Well if that's the case, then eleven weeks without any kind of football to watch feels like a bloody lifetime. Because it's been nearly three months since we last saw a Sutton side round off a very drab final third of the season with a disappointing performance right up there with paying $150 for a prostitute in Sydney and failing to get an erection.