All Aboard the Hereford Express-ish

It's half past five on Saturday morning and I'm awoken by the sound of my alarm. The nice little dream of me in a little sex sandwich with Keeley Hawes & Jane Seymour would have to wait for its conclusion another day. After a little scratch, it's time to go downstairs and put the kettle on. Still nearly about to doze off, the kettle whistles and gets my attention.

Two Whole Years of Twaddle by Twonks

"Never leave a man behind, unless it is mutually inconvenient to the rest of the group"

These are the words that the Gandermonium Firm hold dear to. In fact they are the only words that we actually adhere to. Maybe it would look better if it was in Latin?

"Numquam a tergo reliquissent , nisi molestum est, reliqui se in coetus"

Deja Groundhog Day Vu

When some Herbert sends you a message on a Friday morning asking if you'd fancy doing the match day blog think long and hard before you reply. If you don't then you too may end up opening a bottle of brandy at 9am on a Sunday morning, staring at a blank sheet of paper and thinking "where the fuck do I start?".

These blokes aren't as daft as they look but more of that later.

Chaka Demus Wang & Pliers McAndrew

Another week, another point and another performance that is just missing that little je ne sais quoi. Or some other sort of poncy French saying. We may be four games now undefeated but we are still middle of the table with a goal difference of zilch. But today it was our job to entertain those from God's own graveyard, Eastbourne Borough.

Where is Mein Handy?

I don't know how some of those Division One supporters do it, as going to a match on the Lords day is a very strange experience. It probably didn't help getting right on it after watching the Reserves up at Ice Station Banstead the day before. Some of that trip will no doubt be revealed in the little ditty that Taz has written for your delight.

A Very Reserved Saturday

Like most football fans, we here at the 'monium of Gander (with huge emphasis on the 'moan' in our case) are creatures of habit. And interfering with our routine is never a welcome thing. So you can imagine our sense of loss and confusion when we found we had to wait until the Sunday to go to our latest league match at Hayes. At Maidenhead.