400 up. Dundo's Gonna Get Ya!

It’s been a while since I’ve sat here on a Sunday morning and put together one these updates, and to be honest I was a little rusty. I'd lost the natural flow you need for this sort of thing. So I called up Dukey on Sunday morning for a bit of advice on how this stuff works again, and his best bit of advice was just do what you normally do Juan, write a load of bollocks as usual. Remember what it says on the blog, Sutton United, Beer and Bollox. Well thanks for your ever so helpful advice big man.

Curzon a Fuss

It's back. The FA Trophy returns to once more tantalise us with the rather ambitious dream of a day out at Wembley. And despite all our whinging this season (and past ones!) about samey old draws, the FA finally relented and gave us someone a bit different in Curzon Ashton. And I don't mean to be rude, but even hardy old stagers like us scratched our heads at that one and muttered "Never heard of 'em" before turning to Google for information.

Aden & Raiden

God you gotta love a cup tie. Well except when you lose of course. I mean, it's no good getting all excited for a game knowing that all it would take is a last minute kick in the old proverbials (Merstham away springs to mind) or to play with you strongest team available and still lose to a team several divisions below you (Merstham away still springs to mind).

Tending the Garden

Having recently become an unemployed bum in waiting, this tends to give you a fair bit of time to yourself. It also tests one's willpower. I mean, it would be easy to simply pull the duvet over your head and just lie stinking in your pit until midday before getting up and spending all day in your pants, filling the gaps between Jeremy Kyle re-runs with the odd phone call\email to recruitment firms.

Fortunately dear reader, I am not one of these people. I mean, for starters, have you ever watched an episode of Jeremy Kyle for christs sake?

Hawaii Constabulary Style

It's been a strange week. Like many other unfortunates across the country, I hauled my Turkey and Quality Street stuffed carcass out of bed on Monday and returned to work after the Xmas break. By Wednesday morning, I'd had my fill and coupled with old reservations about my employers, I'd done what can only be described as 'fucked my job off' and handed in my notice. By lunchtime the same day, I was on a train home, handed 'gardening leave' for the remainder of the next 3 months of my notice period. Which is a bit disappointing really, as I'm shit at gardening. Nor do I have a garden.

The Caribbean Curly Toe

So, after seeing the last game of last year and the first game of this year washed out due to the recent spot of inclement weather, we finally get to see our first game of 2016. It was time to entertain a former Ryman opponent of ours in Lowestoft Town. And who would've guessed, that since our defeat against Concord Rangers on November 28th last year, that we would still be playing in the first round.