Ghoul-less Draw

Halloween, or All Hallows' Eve is apparently a celebration observed in a number of countries on 31 October, the eve of the Western Christian feast of All Hallows' Day. It begins the three-day observance of Allhallowtide the time in the liturgical year dedicated to remembering the dead, including saints (hallows), martyrs, and all the faithful departed. So quite what the fuck that's got to do with kids terrorising neighbourhoods begging for sweets whilst dressed as Darth Vader or Clowns I've not a clue.

Bertie Smalls

The process by which the Gandermonium editorial board decides whose turn it is to trot this old pony out for your delectation is a well guarded state secret. Well, it was, until I decided that the time has come to lift the lid and shine a light into the more murky corners of our already shadowy world.

Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey Hangers

So the boys are back on the road once again and this time it's only the matter of a simple 530 mile round trip. For Saturday saw Sutton make the journey to the second most Northerly team in the division to take on another one of those bloody ex-league clubs. For the first time ever, we were due to play against Hartlepool, who are famous for something I believe...

No Midsomer, No Murder

The FA Cup. The world's oldest footballing competition and until last year, something we'd began to fall out of love with a little. Then, like the rest of the country, we decided to go all 'retro' & relive the 80's. In our case that involved going a bit mental knocking out 3 FL sides on the way to making the 5th Round, playing Arsenal at GGL and winding up swimming in so much cash even Scrooge McDuck was asking to pop round and use our pool.

The Not So Great Trowbridge Debate

Sorry sports fans it is I, the Duke, here once again. Not wanting to wear out our beloved Chairman Totts of the People's Republic of West Sutton, I'm back in the driving seat once again. And for this game it was the first ever visit to the KCS GGL for Kirkham & Wesham, sorry AFC Fylde, one of the youngest teams in this division.

Spoons Carpet

"Sutton for good mutton, Cheam for juicy beef....

"Croydon for a pretty girl and Mitcham for a thief."

I love a bit of local history me and this playground rhyme is thought to date back to the 1800's when our beloved Gander Green Lane was just that, a farm track populated mainly by geese and livestock. A bit like Eastleigh's fucking pitch is now but don't get me started on that shit show or I will have reeled off two thousand words of pure bile before I even mention tonight's opponents. 

Made from Whales

Being top of the league has been a bit of a fool's errand recently with teams failing to remain at the summit for longer than the following game. Compare that to two years ago and you had just three teams at the top all season. Sutton were no exception as every time we had risen to the pinnacle of the non-league pyramid, we'd go down to a dis-heartening defeat the very next game. So, was our little trip to the Wales another defeat in the making? Well read on obviously, if you can read that is. If not, just look at the pictures...