The Giraffe, the Pelly & Emily

Hello Gandermonium readers and welcome to another blog from Robbo for the home fixture against Maidstone United.  For literacy bods you may notice the title of this blog as being one of Roald Dahl’s works and as a child I loved reading his books – Charlie Bucket what a hero!

A Pub Crawl with Betty Ford

There was a quiet murmur in the room, the smell of anticipation was everywhere. Some of the lads were up at the front, their expectation like that of school kids waiting for the tuck shop to open. Others that were more experienced in these situations had more of a look of mild disappointment that comes with every time this happens all ready, but yet they couldn't turn their heads away. So where were some of The Firm doing on a dreary Monday night?

Come On Everybody!

We're always moaning, amongst other things, about the draws the FA decide to lumber us with in their competitions. The reasons for this are simple. We're miserable bastards and the FA keep making us go to Hemel fucking Hempstead. Thankfully however, this year they've been way more generous.

Dos 500 Dukey 498

Greetings fellow readers, first things first Tuesday was not only another away game loss to Dover Athletic but it was also yours truly’s birthday – some good guesses on how old I really am have been made, some not so good!

The Fotze, The Fica & The Fitta

The second midweek away trip of the season is now upon us as we have a little cruise to Kent to contend with. This obviously means that it's a quick in and out job like you get with the neighbour's wife. And as most people know, we've to make this trip without the recently departed Wishart. No he's not brown bread, he just wants his bread buttered differently, and with more expensive butter. You know, the sort of stuff you get in Waitrose.

A Blessing In Dis-Guiseley...

Having had a somewhat hectic start to our Conference return, I was finally forced to accept financial defeat and give Eastleigh away a big old empty wallet style swerve. Not that I was that upset, mostly as it's a place where our record is almost Hornchurch-esque and we rarely even score let alone get 3 points there. Still, that didn't mean I refrained from swearing loudly when Bedse's 85th minute peno was saved.